Embrace Abstinence

Abstinence, do you know what abstinence is?

A few weeks ago, I had the rare opportunity to discuss with a group of young ladies, the importance of practicing abstinence. It was such a great workshop! They were able to be transparent, honest, and ask questions to understand their value. This class is one of the most powerful classes I teach. 

According to the Oxford Dictionary, abstinence means “the fact or practice of restraining oneself from indulging in something, typically alcohol." Apart from alcohol, abstinence is synonymously used with sex, meaning not having sex.

As a woman and an owner of an etiquette school, it is one of my programs and principles to share the importance of valuing oneself, especially to young girls I teach to. I teach etiquette to many young people and adults alike, and the topic of sex will inevitably be raised. When this topic is raised, I welcome it and position myself as an Etiquette Consultant who promotes abstinence, more importantly, refraining from having sex before marriage.

THIS SUBJECT SHOULD NOT BE TABOO. 

The young people desire to converse about it and gain knowledge in order to have the courage to refrain from pre-marital sex. Education gives the power to make the right decisions. Of course age-appropriate. Every parent knows their child's maturity level. Don't push this subject under the rug. Allow children to learn from discussions with parents rather than from someone else who may not have their best interest at heart. 

Understanding your value, goals, and self-love as an individual and within the family will determine your decisions including saying yes or no to that young man who wants to have sex with you. This topic is mostly targeted at young ladies but a lesson for young boys too, practicing abstinence is practicing discipline and self-control.  One of the most crucial components of this concept for young men is to show respect to the young lady who is attempting to practice abstinence.  We encourage young men to not only respect her but also to respect themselves.

Abstinence is preserving oneself for a better future. You do not indulge in your bodily cravings and impulses, instead, you stand firm and believe that there will be a time for everything.

I know it can be tricky at times when media and society have so much influence in your life but groundedness and guidance from parents, the adults, who have more experience in this is essential to the younger generation. I say groundedness because when you are grounded, you are not swayed, you are stable and firm. Our generation now is more welcoming to many principles and new ideas but remember that having to preserve yourself and refrain from worldly temptations is an act of integrity, a truly important value in life.

Again, everything will fall in its rightful places in its rightful time so let us stick to our values and preserve ourselves, keeping in mind that when two people indulge in intercourse, they become one in body, mind, and soul.  There are not only physical consequences.  There are, indeed, mental and emotional consequences.

To help avoid those and so many other adverse consequences is to practice abstinence.