Dating

When dating, many simply base it on feelings and physical attraction initially. However, as we venture more into the relationship, we learn more about each other, and more behaviors are revealed. 

As an Etiquette Consultant, I advise young women, to seek to develop a relationship with a guy who is refined or on his way to refinement and one who can appreciate them as a refined lady.  

This is imperative because you now know your value. You deserve to be treated like the valuable and worthy lady you are. Therefore, the gentleman on whose arm you will be, must understand the dynamics of that and compliment you just as much as you are to compliment him. 

Do not be desperate or lower your standards because the right person will understand your value and treat you with dignity and respect.

Proper and honest conversations are the most important part of being in a relationship. You need to communicate how you would like to be treated and allow him to communicate to you how he would like to be treated as well. Make it clear to him that you value yourself, and it is important he values you as well. Share with him your love language and get to know his love language as well. 

Now, there is a proper way to communicate your desires without sounding as if you are demanding things. You can use the words “I prefer doing this” or “What do you think about doing it this way?” Avoid using the phrases “This is what you should do”, or “You should do this for me”. You should always attempt to communicate with kindness and a tone that is not aggressive even if you have been together for a long time. You still have to respect each other. Know that when a person loves you, he or she will also make the effort to do things willingly for you. Sometimes, a gentle or kind request is all that’s needed. 

If you deliver your request in a loving way and he resists it and it becomes problematic, then maybe you should rethink the direction you are going with him. However, there is nothing wrong with educating a gentleman about how you would like to be treated. Incidentally, be ready when he reciprocates and has requested his own. This is a two-way street. It’s about both in a relationship. So, don’t go requesting it if you are not prepared to deliver or adjust as well. 

In addition, remember to always give compliments and express gratitude. Always say “Thank you” or even a simple “I appreciate you.” A Thank you goes a long way. It motivates someone to have the desire to do more for you. When you are in a relationship with someone, it is a given that you would do special things for each other.  However, appreciation should never end!

Being in a healthy relationship requires both parties to deposit into the relationship. No one person should consistently withdraw and never expect to make deposits.  That just won’t work.  

Remember, keep your values, standards, dignity, and class.  As you do that, don’t forget to pour into your relationship and your significant other in order to establish a healthy and long-lasting relationship. In most cases, he will reciprocate because IT TAKES TWO!